Handmade Dress Guards from Holland, by Simeli

My bicycles are not exactly run-of-the-mill, and they tend to get noticed when I am out and about. But nothing has compared to the effect of installing these dress guards on Marianne. Without exaggeration, the dress guards draw crowds of women, their eyes full of wonder at the sight of these unique creations. Subtle they are not. But they are sure to brighten up your day. I received these dress guards as part of an equal value exchange from Simeli (a sponsor July - August 2010), and here are my impressions:

First I must say that I've had the dress guards for some time now, but could not find a bike on which to install them. I was initially hoping to fit them on a loop frame bicycle, but all of mine already had dress guards and removing them would have been a pain. Finally I installed them on my mixte, and the combination is unexpectedly fabulous.

Here is a straight-up view. It is not as typical to install dress guards on a mixte as it is on step-through bicycles, but I really do not see why not. It was done in the past, and in Europe you will find many older mixte bicycles with holes drilled into the fender - evidence that at some point the dress guards were there. If you use your mixte for transportation and you wear fluttery skirts or coats, this is a useful accessory.

This angle gives you an idea of how the dress guards are attached: They connect to the bolts (or the fender stays) at the rear dropouts and to the fenders via clips. The clips are supplied by Simeli along with the dress guards, and are available in a variety of colours. If your fenders are deep enough to fit the clips without rubbing the wheel, you do not need to drill holes. However, please note that the attachment system was designed for the sort of wide, deep fenders that are found on Dutch bikes, English roadsters, and similar bicycles. If you have fenders like the ones pictured on my mixte, the clips will likely rub the tire. We have angled the clips on my bike as best as we could, and they still rub a bit. So if I keep this set-up in the long run, I will drill the fender and re-install the dress guards that way.

Simeli dress guards were designed to work with either 28" or 26" wheels, so anything in between is fine as well. This includes 650B, 27"and 700C wheels. The wheels on my bicycle here are 27" and the dress guards stretch tightly.

Another thing to note is that - like most dress guards - these have an opening to fit over either a "cafe lock" or a caliper brake on the rear wheel (click to enlarge the picture to see the opening). The opening is aligned with the  rear stays, so even if you have neither a lock nor a caliper brake on the rear wheel, it is unobtrusive.

As far as performance goes, these dress guards certainly do their job. They cover a large portion of the wheel and are densely knit. Any outfit you could wear is safe from the spokes with these installed. They do not shift or flutter or make any noise (other than the potential problem of the clips rubbing narrow fenders), and they hold up securely.

Of course the singlemost feature one is drawn to when discussing these, is the looks. There are several models offered by Simeli, and all of them feature crochet work in bright, cheerful colours. Mine are pink, lilac and light green, with silvery thread and a row of peralescent beads woven in between (the model is Linde).

Here is a close-up of the colours and the row of beads. If you've been reading this blog, you know that I do not tend to go for colourful designs like this, and instead gravitate towards neutral colour palettes. But it's nice to try new things once in a while, and hey - it's summer after all!

The shimmery aqua-blue of Marianne's frame is too much for me as it is, so I decided to go all out and make her my "technicolor dream coat" bicycle. And that she is!

But the crucial question: Would I buy these dress guards if they were not sent to me for review? I would if they were available in an off-white or natural-hemp sort of colour, or even something silvery or gold-ish. In fact, I am looking for something like that for the new custom mixte we are building up and would even gladly drill the fenders if they prove too tight for the clips. The bright and cheerful colours on the models currently available are not my style - but given the response they get out in the streets, I believe I am in the minority in that respect.

Final note: I've received emails from readers who are interested in the dress guards but cannot understand how to navigate the website (which is entirely in Dutch). If you'd like to order a set or have questions, please just contact Simone (the owner of Simeli) directly. She speaks English and can answer all your questions.