From Holsters to Corsets: The Cycling Accessory Fetish

Entering the Brooks booth at Interbike was an experience that I can only describe as "trippy." Not only did I feel as if I'd stepped into a Skittles commercial - or at least a Brooks + Skittles "collabo" (Ride the Rainbow...), but I was seeing objects that, at first glance, distinctly resembled gun holsters - in a variety of lollypop shades.

Upon a closer look it became apparent that these were in fact tiny handbags shaped like Brooks saddles. The representative cheerfully explained that Brooks had the idea to make leather saddle covers to class up bikes that came with plastic saddles. But the project did not work, so they turned the would-be saddle covers into handbags - and thus we have the Victoria bag. 

I am not sure what I have a harder time imagining - someone buying a leather cover for their plastic saddle, or someone carrying a neon leather saddle-shaped purse. And while at first I thought the gun holster comparison was just in my head, I soon heard others voice the same sentiment as they walked by the display. What do you think, would this match your work outfit?

And lest you be wearing trousers on a bike with no chaincase, a leather strap in a matching shade could be just the thing.

As long as it all matched your handlebar tape. And your apple-green saddle.

Of course if you're not a fan of colourful accessories, Brooks offers the subdued "paratrooper" look in tasteful shades of gray and beige.

Okay, I really don't mean to tease Brooks so much. They had "normal" stuff too, like their regular line of saddles, a promising rain cape and their new city leather grips (which I would buy if they didn't have those cold metal sections at the ends). But something just felt a little off about their booth - as if they were on the verge of losing perspective.

Taking the classic route to fetish-appeal, Klean Kanteen draped itself in caramel leather, for a look suggesting vintage flasks. I like it. But the one problem I see with this, is that the outside of these bottles tends to always get wet and the leather is bound to get discoloured and misshapen as a result over time - something that does not happen with shellacked twine, because the shellac waterproofs it.

This particular Klean Kanteen had a wooden inlay on the lid with a Brompton logo on it, and may have been a limited edition model made especially for Brompton bicycles.

Sculptural bicycle pumps from Lezyne in stainless steel and wood. People couldn't stop touching them, running their hands against the surface.

A bicycle pump that makes you want to use it by appealing to your sense of touch? Okay, I admit I want these. You got to me, Lezyne.

Po Campo's new "self-referetial" print is really too lighthearted to be truly fetishistic, but deserves a mention. Obsessed with bicycles? What a better way to show it than to get a bicycle bag with pictures of, well, bicycles on it. Should leave no doubt as to your love of cycling.

Alternatively, you could opt for the new Logan Tote - a pannier shaped like a dainty doctor's bag and designed to carry anything from diapers and formula bottles to camera equipment and the i-Pad. The myriad of belts and buckles that come with Po-Campo bags contribute to the visual curiosity factor, particularly when a tiny bag ends up capable of securing things like heavy jackets and yoga mats.

The Brompton "Oratory" cycling jacket has gotten both praise and slack in the press for being useful/ unnecessary (pick one), sparking debate as to whether urban cycling-specific designs overcomplicate matters and undermine the whole idea of being able to ride in regular clothing.

Not sure where I stand on that issue, but regardless - the Brompton jacket has a number of fine details that appealing regardless of whether one even needs a jacket at all.

The jacket is corduroy, with a wicking bamboo lining depicting a drawing of the Brompton Oratory by English graffiti artist, Kid Acne (Get it? Graffiti for an urban jacket? Graffiti of a building instead of on a building? Oh the cleverness of it!..).

But no tale of accessory fetishism is complete without a visit with Berthoud. I have an odd relationship with Berthoud bags, in that I tend to lose my mind when I see them - especially several in the same place at the same time. The shades of gray fabric and caramel leather are just right, the straps are perfectly proportioned... But when it comes down to it, I cannot bring myself to actually buy one of the bags. It's not just the price, but something about the look would make me self-conscious to have it on my own bike.

A case of being too perfect? Maybe!

And then there are the panniers. These are available in many sizes and use the R&K Klick-fix system, which I love. But I can't get over the "corset" look of the side expansions - which, although obviously purpose-driven, to me seem to be the ultimate symbol of our tendency to fetishise bicycle accessories. It's not a bad thing per se, if it makes us happy and makes us ride our bikes more. But we each have different comfort levels. I'll go for leather, wood and twine, but will stop short of holsters and corsetry.